Contents
Do you often find yourself paralysed by the thought of letting others down?
Perhaps you’ve avoided taking a new job, ending a relationship, or even saying “no” to social plans, just to avoid the sinking feeling that you’re disappointing someone.
This form of anxiety—rooted in a fear of disapproval or rejection—is incredibly common. At London Bridge Therapy, our team of experienced psychologists and psychotherapists, based in Central London, frequently supports individuals who feel overwhelmed by the pressure to please others.
If this resonates with you, you’re not alone. And more importantly, it’s possible to find relief.
Why Do We Fear Disappointing Others?
Humans are wired for connection. We want to be liked, valued, and accepted. But for some, this natural desire turns into chronic anxiety—especially when self-worth becomes tied to how others perceive us.
Some common reasons this anxiety might develop include:
- Early childhood conditioning (such as being praised only when you pleased adults)
- People-pleasing tendencies or perfectionism
- Low self-esteem or fear of rejection
- Cultural or family expectations
In therapy, we explore how these patterns formed and how they can be unlearned.
The Cost of Always Saying “Yes”
When you constantly prioritise others’ expectations over your own needs, it can lead to:
- Emotional burnout
- Anxiety and chronic stress
- Depression or low self-esteem
- A loss of personal identity or autonomy
Over time, this can damage relationships as well – when you’re not authentic with others, true connection becomes difficult.
How to Cope with the Anxiety of Disappointing Others
As psychotherapists and psychologists at London Bridge Therapy, we work with many clients to address this specific form of anxiety. Here are some strategies we recommend:
1. Pause and Identify the Fear
When you feel the familiar anxiety rising, pause. Ask yourself:
- What exactly am I afraid will happen?
- Am I fearing someone else’s disappointment, or my own discomfort with their reaction?
Labelling the fear reduces its power.
2. Challenge the Inner Critic
Anxiety often comes with harsh self-talk:
- “They’ll hate me if I say no.”
- “I’m selfish for putting myself first.”
In therapy, we help clients recognise these thoughts and replace them with more compassionate, balanced ones.
3. Reclaim Your Boundaries
Healthy boundaries are not selfish—they’re essential. A psychotherapist or psychologist at London Bridge Therapy can help you identify where your boundaries have become blurred, and how to communicate them assertively without guilt.
Try this: “I understand this might be disappointing, but I need to choose what feels right for me right now.”
4. Notice Who You’re Trying to Protect
Sometimes, we fear disappointing others not because of their needs—but because of our imagined consequences. In therapy, we explore whether you’re protecting the other person, or just trying to avoid uncomfortable emotions in yourself.
5. Start Small
Practising saying “no” or choosing your own path doesn’t need to start with life-changing decisions. Begin with small acts of honesty. Notice how it feels to prioritise your truth, and build confidence over time.
Therapy Can Help You Put Yourself First—Without Shame
At London Bridge Therapy, our team of skilled psychotherapists and psychologists in Central London specialises in anxiety, self-esteem, and boundary-setting. Whether you’re struggling with people-pleasing, perfectionism, or fear of rejection, therapy provides a safe, non-judgemental space to unpack these challenges.
We believe that being true to yourself shouldn’t come with guilt. Together, we can help you build emotional resilience, improve self-worth, and develop the tools to handle disappointment—from others and yourself.
Book a Consultation with a London-based Psychologist or Psychotherapist
You deserve to live a life that aligns with your values—not one dictated by fear. If you’re looking for a trusted psychologist or psychotherapist in Central London, get in touch with London Bridge Therapy today.
We’re here to help you step into a more confident, authentic version of yourself—without the anxiety of letting others down.
Contact us now to book your first session, or explore our therapy services here.
