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Low self-esteem can have a significant influence on our working lives, affecting the opportunities we pursue, the way we respond to feedback and the confidence with which we communicate our ideas and abilities. It can lead highly capable people to underestimate their competence, avoid opportunities for progression or work excessively hard in an attempt to compensate for a persistent sense that they are somehow falling short.
For some people, these difficulties become particularly noticeable at work because professional environments involve frequent evaluation, comparison and uncertainty. However, low self-esteem is rarely confined to one area of life. The beliefs we hold about our competence and worth can influence our relationships, our emotional wellbeing and the expectations we have of ourselves more broadly.
Understanding how these patterns develop, and what continues to maintain them, is an important part of changing them.
What is low self-esteem?
Low self-esteem describes a persistent pattern of negative beliefs about ourselves and our abilities, which often remains in place even when our experiences suggest otherwise. Self-doubt, by contrast, is a normal part of life. Most people occasionally question whether they have performed well enough, made the right decision or possess the skills required for a particular challenge. These doubts are usually responsive to circumstances and can change when we receive reassurance, gain experience or recognise that our concerns were unfounded.
Low self-esteem tends to be more persistent. Rather than representing an occasional uncertainty about a particular situation, it often involves more deeply held negative beliefs about ourselves and our abilities. Someone may experience themselves as inadequate, incompetent or less capable than other people, even when there is considerable evidence to suggest otherwise.
One of the reasons low self-esteem can be so enduring is that our existing beliefs influence the way we interpret new information. Positive experiences may be discounted or attributed to external circumstances, while criticism, mistakes or setbacks are given disproportionate significance. A promotion might be attributed to good timing, praise dismissed as politeness and a successful piece of work explained as fortunate rather than as evidence of ability.
Over time, this selective interpretation of experience can strengthen the very beliefs that produced it. The problem is therefore not necessarily an absence of positive evidence, but difficulty integrating that evidence into an established view of oneself.
Where does low self-esteem come from?
There is rarely a single explanation for low self-esteem. Our sense of ourselves develops through a complex interaction between temperament, relationships, experiences and the messages we receive from the people and environments around us.
For some people, the origins can be traced to early experiences in which approval, affection or recognition felt dependent upon achievement or behaviour. Frequent criticism, comparison with siblings or peers, emotional neglect, bullying or feeling that mistakes were unacceptable can all contribute to the development of negative beliefs about the self.
These experiences do not need to have occurred within an overtly difficult childhood. A person can have experienced considerable love and stability while also internalising particular messages about achievement, failure, appearance, emotional expression or what was required in order to be valued.
Low self-esteem can also develop or become more pronounced later in life. Experiences such as bullying, repeated professional rejection, a significant failure, redundancy or a relationship characterised by persistent criticism or undermining can alter the way a person sees themselves.
What matters therapeutically is not simply identifying where a belief originated, but understanding the meaning that was attached to those experiences and the ways in which that meaning continues to influence the present.
How does low self-esteem show up at work?
Low self-esteem can affect professional life in ways that are both immediately distressing and cumulatively limiting. Someone may hesitate to apply for a more senior position because they focus on the small number of requirements they do not meet rather than the considerable experience they already possess. They may find salary negotiations particularly difficult, remain silent in meetings despite having relevant expertise or routinely defer to colleagues whose judgement they perceive as more credible than their own.
Receiving feedback can also become disproportionately difficult. When self-esteem is relatively secure, constructive criticism can usually be understood as information about a particular behaviour, decision or piece of work. When someone already holds a negative view of themselves, the same feedback may be interpreted much more globally. A mistake does not simply mean that something could have been done differently; it can feel like evidence of being fundamentally incompetent or inadequate.
Low self-esteem does not always present as a lack of achievement or ambition. In some people it contributes to precisely the opposite pattern. Working excessively long hours, taking responsibility for too much, struggling to delegate, repeatedly checking work and finding it difficult to say no can all function as attempts to protect against the possibility of criticism or failure.
These behaviours can be mistaken for confidence, conscientiousness or exceptional commitment, particularly in professional environments where overworking is rewarded. However, when they are driven by a belief that ordinary effort will never be sufficient, they can become psychologically exhausting and contribute to chronic stress and burnout.
Does low self-esteem affect anything beyond work?
Although difficulties with self-esteem may become particularly visible in professional settings, the underlying beliefs frequently influence other areas of life.
Within relationships, low self-esteem can make it difficult to trust positive regard or to believe that affection and acceptance are genuinely deserved. Some people become highly accommodating, prioritising other people’s needs while finding it difficult to express their own. Others may be particularly sensitive to signs of rejection or criticism, or remain in relationships that reinforce an already negative perception of themselves.
Low self-esteem is also associated with broader psychological difficulties, including anxiety and depression. Research has identified a prospective relationship between low self-esteem and depression. A meta-analysis of longitudinal studies, for example, found evidence that low self-esteem can contribute to subsequent depressive symptoms, although the relationship between self-esteem and mental health is complex and influenced by multiple factors.
Addressing persistent low self-esteem can therefore be important not simply because it affects confidence, but because the beliefs and behavioural patterns associated with it can have wider consequences for psychological wellbeing and quality of life.
Can low self-esteem be changed?
Low self-esteem can change, but meaningful change usually involves more than attempting to think positively or accumulating further evidence of achievement. Indeed, many people who struggle with low self-esteem are already highly accomplished. The difficulty is that those accomplishments have not substantially altered the underlying way in which they perceive and evaluate themselves.
Therapy can help by identifying the beliefs, assumptions and behavioural patterns that maintain low self-esteem and examining how they developed and continue to operate.
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) can be particularly helpful in understanding the relationship between negative beliefs, automatic thoughts and patterns of behaviour. Therapy may involve learning to recognise habitual biases in the way experiences are interpreted, developing more balanced ways of evaluating evidence and gradually changing behaviours that reinforce an established negative view of the self.
For some people, difficulties with self-esteem are closely connected with longstanding relational or developmental experiences. Schema Therapy can provide a framework for understanding deeply established patterns and beliefs, including those that developed in response to earlier experiences and continue to carry significant emotional weight in adulthood.
The most appropriate therapeutic approach will depend upon the individual rather than simply upon how long the problem has been present. A careful psychological assessment can help to understand the origins of the difficulty, the factors currently maintaining it and the form of therapy most likely to be helpful.
At London Bridge Therapy, our Clinical Psychologists and Counselling Psychologists and Expert Integrative Psychotherapists work with people experiencing difficulties with self-esteem and self-confidence. An initial consultation provides an opportunity to understand how these difficulties are affecting you and to consider an appropriate therapeutic approach.
If low self-esteem is limiting your professional life, affecting your relationships or influencing the way you see yourself, get in touch to arrange an initial consultation.
