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Every January, many high achieving people find themselves in a familiar cycle. Ambitious New Year’s resolutions are set, motivation surges briefly, and then frustration, self criticism, and quiet abandonment follow by February.
This is not a failure of discipline or intelligence. In many cases, it is the opposite. High functioning, driven individuals are particularly prone to setting goals that are rigid, perfectionistic, or disconnected from their deeper emotional needs.
A psychological alternative is to set intentions rather than resolutions. This shift supports sustainable change, self respect, and meaningful growth.
Why New Year’s Resolutions Often Do Not Work
Traditional resolutions tend to focus on outcomes:
- “I will work harder.”
- “I will stop procrastinating.”
- “I will finally fix myself.”
From a psychological perspective, these goals can unintentionally activate unhelpful patterns such as all or nothing thinking, shame based motivation, and pressure that comes from outside rather than from personal meaning.
For high achievers, resolutions often replicate the same performance driven mindset that already dominates much of their lives. Instead of fostering growth, they reinforce self criticism and burnout.
When motivation naturally dips, as it does for everyone, the goal collapses and the inner critic takes over.
What Are Intentions
Intentions are value led orientations rather than performance targets. They focus on how you want to live rather than what you must achieve.
An intention might sound like:
- “I want to relate to my work with more balance.”
- “I want to respond to stress with curiosity rather than self attack.”
- “I want to create space for rest without guilt.”
Intentions are flexible rather than rigid. They allow room for setbacks without collapse. They emphasise process over perfection and align with who you want to be, not just what you want to do.
From a therapeutic standpoint, intentions support emotional awareness, self regulation, and long term behavioural change.
The Psychology Behind Sustainable Change
Research and clinical experience consistently show that change lasts when it is internally motivated, emotionally meaningful, and compassionate rather than punitive.
Intentions work because they engage reflective and choice based thinking rather than threat responses driven by fear or self judgement.
When goals are rooted in values such as connection, integrity, or vitality, behaviour change feels purposeful rather than forced. You are no longer trying to be better. You are trying to live more honestly.
From Resolution to Intention: A Practical Shift
Here is how a common resolution can be reframed psychologically.
Resolution
“I will stop overworking.”
This often fails because it ignores the emotional function of overworking. For many people, overworking helps manage anxiety, seek approval, or maintain a sense of identity.
Intention
“I want to notice what drives my overworking and practise choosing rest without self criticism.”
This intention acknowledges that the behaviour has a purpose, that change requires awareness rather than force, and that compassion is part of growth.
This creates space for reflection rather than rebellion.
Intentions for High Achievers
High achieving clients often benefit from intentions that address their relationship to achievement, inner critical voices, emotional avoidance, and identity beyond productivity.
Examples include:
- “I intend to measure my worth by more than output.”
- “I want to tolerate discomfort without immediately solving or escaping it.”
- “I intend to bring curiosity to my patterns rather than judgement.”
These intentions do not lower standards. They humanise them.
How Therapy Supports Intentional Change
Many people understand their goals intellectually but feel stuck repeating the same patterns. Therapy helps bridge that gap by exploring the emotional logic behind behaviours, unconscious beliefs about worth and success, early experiences that shaped current coping strategies, and the role of the nervous system in motivation and avoidance.
Rather than asking, “Why can I not just change,” therapy invites a more helpful question. “What part of me is being protected by this pattern.”
When intentions are explored in therapy, they become lived experiences rather than abstract ideas.
Let This Year Be Different, Not Harder
If you are a high achiever, you likely do not need more pressure, stricter rules, or higher expectations. You may need more self understanding, more emotional flexibility, and more alignment between your values and your actions.
Setting intentions is not about lowering ambition. It is about directing ambition toward a life that feels meaningful, balanced, and psychologically sustainable.
This year, instead of asking what you want to fix, consider asking:
- What matters to me now
- How do I want to relate to myself when things are difficult
- What would growth look like if it included compassion
That shift alone can be transformative.
Contact us
If setting intentions has highlighted areas you would like to understand or change more deeply, therapy can help. At London Bridge Therapy, we work with high achieving individuals who want to move beyond self criticism and create more sustainable ways of living and working.
If you are considering therapy, you are welcome to contact us to enquire about starting sessions or to arrange an initial consultation. We would be glad to support you in exploring what meaningful change could look like for you.
